When Your Child Was Hurt at Daycare: Support for Parents After Abuse in Child Care

Reviewed by Heard & Believed · Updated 2026-10-21

Learning that your child may have been harmed by someone you trusted with their care is devastating. This guide is for parents: what to do first, how reporting works, how to care for your child and yourself, and where to find help.

First, you are not to blame

Parents in this situation often replay every drop-off and wonder what they missed. People who harm children often work hard to appear trustworthy. Your child needs you steady and believing them, and you deserve support too.

What to do first

• If your child is hurt or in danger, call 911 or go to an emergency room
• Keep your child home from that program while you get guidance
• Write down what your child said or showed you, in their words, with the date and time
• Report to child protective services or police, and to your state's child care licensing office

How reporting and licensing work

The Child Welfare Information Gateway reports that child care providers are designated mandated reporters in 36 states, the District of Columbia and several territories, and that in about 17 states any person who suspects abuse must report. Childcare.gov explains that state and territory governments license child care programs and set minimum health and safety requirements, and that licensing is not a promise of quality. Each state has a licensing agency that can take complaints and inspect programs.

Under 42 U.S.C. 9858f, states that receive federal child care funds must require criminal background checks for child care staff members, including checks of sex offender registries and state child abuse and neglect registries.

Caring for your child

Young children often process hard experiences through play, sleep changes or clinginess. A pediatrician can check for physical concerns, and a child advocacy center or trauma-informed child therapist can help with the emotional side. Let your child know they are safe and that telling you was the right thing to do.

Caring for yourself

Anger, grief, numbness and guilt are all common. Talking with a counselor, a trusted friend or other parents who have been through something similar can help. You do not have to hold this alone.

Records worth keeping

• Enrollment contracts, daily reports, sign-in sheets and incident reports from the program
• Photos of any injuries, and medical visit records
• Messages and emails with staff and directors
• Your report numbers and the names of the agencies you contacted

Where to get support

If a child may be in danger right now, call 911. To talk through a concern about a child or to find your state's reporting line, the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is available at 1-800-422-4453. For adult survivors, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7 at 800-656-4673.

You might also read

• How to Support a Survivor: What to Say (and What Not to)
• What Trauma-Informed Care Actually Means and How to Find It
• Finding a Trauma-Informed Therapist Who's Right for You